So you’d like to talk with my parents…

By all means, call them up.  They would love to hear from their friends and family.  Don and Donna Clubb brought up this topic in a comment and I know that other people have wanted to come over to visit or call my parents.  So I figured I would write up a little blog to give you some help with this.

I encourage friends and family to call or visit.  My parents don’t follow this blog and therefore don’t see the support they have like I do.  They would love to know that their friends and family are thinking about them and wishing them well.  If you do wish to call or visit, here are some things to consider:

* My parents deal with and talk about their condition on a daily basis.  They deal with it at doctor’s appointments, trips to the ER, planning the future, etc.  They also have lots of friends and family wanting to know how they are feeling, how they are doing.  They get a tad sick of it (pardon the pun).  So when you do call or visit, let them know you are thinking about them and talk about things that you would have talked about if they weren’t ill.  I hope that these blogs are keeping you up to date enough on the illness part that you can talk about other things with them.

* Don’t be offended if my parents just say ‘fine’, ‘alright’, or otherwise seem short when talking about their illnesses.  They just hear ‘how are you feeling’ so often that it kind of irritates them.  I have to get creative in how I ask them how they are feeling.  Dad is more to the point and will likely say he is fine, but that Mom is in much worse shape.  While Mom is likely to give you the fine or alright answer.

* I cannot give you much of an answer to the ‘when is the best time to call’.  I can give you some guidelines.  Monday, Wednesday and Friday from about 9 til noon they are either at the gym, at an appointment or not feeling well enough to go to the gym.  Late afternoon and early evening they both get tired and are less likely to give you much time.  I know that leaves pretty small windows, but hey, call and if they can talk then they will.

* When dad talks, its a couple words in between breaths.  It sounds labored and may take a while to get out what he is trying to say.  He can also get a bit frustrated when he can’t get all the words out, so just be patient.  He still loves to talk.

* Both mom and dad (dad to a lesser extent) have a difficult time thinking of the words they want to say.  Again be patient, but try not to finish their sentences too often.  It reminds them they are talking slow and that gets frustrating.  I do this all the time and I try not to, but it happens.  Mom’s memory is pretty bad these days so don’t be offended if she tells you the same thing more than once.

* If they don’t call you back, don’t be offended.  Again their memory and concentration are affected and they just don’t remember that they are supposed to call back.  If you leave messages, I will try to remind them.

* Don’t be surprised by emotions or even lack of emotions they display.  Their emotions and thoughts are all over the place these days.

* It is best to call their cell phones rather than the house phone.  They have their cell phones by them more often than the house phone.  If you don’t have their cell phones, you can email me (jarinsatterlee@hotmail.com) and I will send you the information.

* Mom and dad rarely see their email anymore.  Please continue to send them if you like, but don’t be offended if they don’t answer or if they haven’t seen your email by the time you talk to them.  I will probably work something out with them to get their email viewed.  It’s just not that high on the list right now.

* This next tip I am not sure how to word correctly, so I will give an example.  We had some people come over to visit and while they were here, they were concerned with where mom was sitting and if she was comfortable.  If you visit, don’t worry about them.  Enjoy the visit.  When we have visitors, I keep and eye out on them and will know if they need something.

I think that pretty much sums it up.  If I think of anything else, I will edit this post.  I talked with mom a few minutes ago and told her I was putting together these tips and that I was encouraging people to contact them.  She was pleased.