She took a lickin’ and she is still tickin’.
3:30 am on Sunday September 7, 2014 – Why am I up at this ungodly hour of the day? Just gave mom some Morphine and Ativan. She was still responsive. When I told her I had some medicine, she sat right up. She’s got some fight left in her it looks like. She really had to struggle to sit up and did a wonderful job getting down the medicine. She doesn’t have much swallow ability anymore so I crush the pills, add some water and suck it up into a syringe. She sort of sucks on it while I squirt the concoction into her mouth.
So far this process has gone much different than dad. We brought dad home, put him in bed and he stayed in that one position until the end. He didn’t fuss and medicine time for dad was a real chore because he offered little to no assistance. Mom also has a bed, but she doesn’t do bed well so she has her feet on the floor and we just have pillows and blankets and anything else we could find to sort of prop her up. She has always been an odd sleeper. She is a lot more fidgety than dad and continues to want to stand even though that is nearly impossible now, but medicine time has been easier with her.
It is difficult to find any beauty in this process. It is difficult to watch and participate in. Especially the waiting for that last breath to happen. You don’t want to see it and yet at the same time you just want it to be over with. It sounds horrible to say and I hate thinking it, but we know that she has to go and just want to see the end come quickly and painlessly for her (and us).
She looks peaceful and and beautiful and I love her to bits. I hope I do not have to do this again for a very long time.
Rest well mom. Rest well friends. In time I will get to do the same!