I haven’t penned a post in a couple of weeks and I know some day down the road I will regret the lapses in time between posts, but honestly, time flies way too fast and there is always too many things to be done. By the time I would get around to writing out a post I am just too tired or otherwise do not feel like it.
The current situation with mom is not looking good. She does not appear to be doing well and no one seems to be able to offer a reason why. This all started a number of weeks ago with a trip to the emergency room at the suggestion of my mother’s primary physician. She woke up one morning with a significant pain in her shoulder so she got an appointment for later that day with her doctor. He poked and prodded and decided that the problem was not the shoulder but was pain radiating from some other location. He figured it was either coming from the liver or from the lung. Liver pain was probably just the cancer and didn’t concern him too much, but the possibility that it could be from the lung was worrisome as that could indicate a blood clot which would need to be dealt with immediately. Turned out that there was no clot and the emergency room doctor concluded it was from the liver and sent her on her way. Over the course of the next weeks the pain in the shoulder went away and instead moved into her belly. I told her that we should get an appointment with the oncologist to discuss if there is alternatives for pain management.
In the meantime, my sister and her son were here this past weekend for a Labor Day visit. In the few days leading up to their arrival mom was growing increasingly tired and it got to a point where we decided to go back to the emergency room on Saturday to have it looked at. As is sometimes the case, the ‘medical professionals’ hear a trigger word and stick to it like glue. In this case they heard the word pain and that set off a slew of tests along with a 12 hour emergency room visit. The gall bladder issue came up again and they were off on a wild goose chase to find the problem with the gall bladder problem. Of course once again they come up with a goose egg. The blood work suggested a problem with the gall bladder so there must be a problem with the gall bladder, but there wasn’t a problem with the gall bladder. All the while, the real concern for me was not being addressed. I wanted to know why my mother went from cleaning house to falling asleep on the potty every time she goes in there (and every where else she happens to sit, see the picture taken outside of Starbucks) in just 2 days time and what can be done about it. The emergency room doctor said that she didn’t know what was causing that and suspected pain medication, but that just doesn’t make sense because she has not changed anything about her pain medication to this point.
Of course this was a holiday weekend, so I had to wait until today to make calls to her primary and her oncologist to see if I can get appointments with them to take a look at her and the recent emergency room visit reports and charts. I am still waiting for a call back from either of them.
Jodi and Andrew have both gone back home and I am back to caring for mom myself. It was really nice having Jodi here to tend to her. Especially when zombie mom shows up and so rudely replaces my normal mother. She is quite the handful because although she falls asleep almost instantly where ever she sits, she does not stay asleep for more than minutes at a time and when she isn’t sleeping she is trying to walk somewhere. Unfortunately she is also very unsteady on her feet and moves very slowly. She is also very confused about things while strangely still being aware that something isn’t right. She is absolutely miserable like this. She cannot stand being like this and occasionally says so. I told her yesterday that I can’t help but wonder if this means the end is coming soon and she took my hand and said, “I hope so.”
It really breaks my heart to see my mother like this. I was so happy when zombie mom went bye-bye back in March and I am so pissed off to see that she has returned. I have no idea what is causing this. No idea how to fix it. No idea how long I can deal with it. I am constantly on fall alert because as I mentioned, she wont stay put. She goes out on the porch, stays there for a few minutes and then goes back inside. Then she is off in the kitchen getting who knows what. Then she is in the bathroom where I let her sit for about fifteen minutes before I knock on the door and ask her if she fell asleep.
Things are always wet as well. She is either spilling or not making it to the bathroom in time. While not a big deal, it makes her very upset when she does either of those things.
It is not fair that someone as wonderful as her should have to suffer! Damn you dad… you should be here to help her!
I’m sad to read about the return of zombie mom. I wonder, maybe her medications are too strong. She has steadily been losing weight and maybe the cocktail she has been on all this time are suddenly affecting her because the lack of body mass? Maybe she can be taken off something. Also, maybe through the confusion she is double dosing without you knowing?
I’m hopeful this is just another obstacle for you guys to overcome.
Thank you for the reply. I too have thought about the double dosing, but I have have been counting pills and generally she asks me for medication rather than getting it herself. I don’t know what is causing this, but I hope we can figure it out soon. It seems to have come on too suddenly for it to be the medications she has been taking for the past 6 months and her weight has held steady since May. Thanks again for the thoughts!