Hi Mom,
Gosh it seems strange without you around. I think it is getting easier, but I sometimes have these moments of panic where I think how in the world will we get by without you. Had a couple of those moments today. Started out when I had a dream where you and dad showed up and all I wanted was a hug, but you were busy putting things away and when I finally got you to give me one, you just vanished. Another one came when we got a phone call from your financial adviser. He was calling to see how things were going and if you needed anything. I told him that you had passed, which I have to admit I wasn’t ready to do that. He said that since I told him he was going to have to file some paperwork, but that nothing official would happen until we got the death certificate. It’s not a big deal since we planned for all this, but it still a reality hit. A little bit later, when I was on my way to the gym, another reality call came when the mortuary called to tell me that the death certificates are there and ready for me to pick up. I figured I would have two weeks before I needed to worry about this stuff, but it looks like I will have to get the ball rolling on this stuff.
As I mentioned, I went to the gym today. I didn’t see Larry or Lou, but big Hal and Ray were there. Ray apologized for not making it to the funeral. I knew that he had called that morning to get directions, but he said that he got lost and couldn’t find the church. I figured that is what happened. What can you expect when you are his age. Big Hal wanted to get some extra copies of the program from your funeral to send to various people, so I will bring extras on Wednesday when I go. I haven’t had much of an appetite the past week so I was hoping that I would have lost a few pounds, but I guess that’s not in the cards right now.
I went to Home Depot today to look at plants for the back yard as well as some patio furniture. Jodi was thinking that putting a covered love seat out on the patio and moving the bench out in the yard would be a good thing to do. I would thinking of getting some sort of covered gazebo that could be used as a makeshift sunroom would be a good idea. So I looked at what they had and then went online to see what else they had. I will mull it over and maybe get something to put out there. I also found several plants that I am considering putting in the back. I don’t remember what the names were right now, but I will let you know when I figure out which ones I am going to get. I am also considering chopping the star jasmine way back and replacing the wood trellis it’s on with a metal one. They has a nice metal one for $30. The temperature is supposed to cool off substantially toward the end of the week so I might just wait until then.
I know that you were concerned about the house when you were no longer here to keep things going, but based on what I have seen from Jason the past week I don’t think you have to worry. Tomorrow is trash day and Jason took out the trash without being told. He has also done the dishes and bought some groceries. I think Jason is going to be just fine.
Well mother, I sure do miss you and would really like to have you here, but I know the deal. We all must go in time. Think about you lots and love you even more!