Mom and I talked several times about different aspects of her funeral. Unlike dad, who didn’t want any sort of deal made when he passed, mom wanted a funeral. Her requirement was that the funeral should be simple and not overtly religious (or rather not specific to any religious sect). She wanted to have an opening prayer, a closing prayer, three songs and a period of time for people to say whatever they wanted about her. She did not care if the service was done with an open or closed casket, but we felt that an open casket during the service might be too much or too distracting. She didn’t care if there was any sort of viewing and left that up to us. She picked out the clothes she wanted to be wearing and it was made clear that dad’s urn was to be placed in the coffin with her.
So, here is the deal with the three songs that she wanted at her service. The first is a hymn that she remembers from her childhood and that as she approached the end of her life she thought more about. That hymn is called “Count Your Blessings” and is hymn #241 in the Mormon hymnal.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wODZDmBimiM&w=420&h=315]
Not only is this hymn catchy, which probably drew my mother to it as a child, but it reminds us to take stock of the wonderful things that enhance our lives.
The second song that mom wanted to be played at her service was her and dad’s song. Mom said that everyday she and dad would go to lunch at a little taco shop, this was when they were still dating, and this song would often be playing. It was one of the big hits during that time, so it was not unusual for it to be playing. The song is by Elvis Presley and is called “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” Until my father’s passing, my parents would hold hands if this song happened to be playing.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V430M59Yn8&w=420&h=315]
I think this song really sums up how my parents felt about each other. Fifty-two years of marriage and they would still hold hands while listening to this song is a pretty special thing.
The last song she wanted played was very specific and if it did not match her requirements then she did not want it played. The song is “Time To Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro)”. However, she only wanted it played if it was the English lyric version and only if it was a tenor voice singing it. She did not want a soprano voice to be singing this song. Well this turned out to be a challenge and in the end I just could not meet her requirements so we dropped it from the program. This would have been playing as we moved her out of the chapel and ended the service. Much to my chagrin, had I listened to the following version in it’s entirety I would have found they indeed use the english lyrics and that it would have met my mother’s approval.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHBkxTnMhXY&w=560&h=315]
There is some back-story to this song with respect to my parents. Actually there are two stories. The first is that this song is the theme song for the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas and they play it during their water fountain show. My parents would make it a point to be there for a performance whenever they were in Las Vegas. The song moved them both. My mother said that she could see my father struggle to keep his eyes dry when listening to this song.
The second story and the reason for the English version requirement comes from one of their cruises. My parents were on a cruise (I don’t recall the ship or the destination at the moment) and would spend a bit of time each day up in the sports bar, which was usually empty during the times they went there. Mom liked to sit, looking out the window while she worked a crossword or did some cross-stitching. Dad watched a game, if there was one on. They befriended the staff in that bar which consisted of the bartender, a piano player and the cocktail waitress. They became pretty close friends with them (I actually emailed the bartender to let him know of my mother’s passing). The cocktail waitress, Anna, was being moved from that bar to another one on the ship the next day so my parents spent extra time talking with the three cruise staff. When my parents went to the bar the next day, they of course did not expect to see Anna, however the bartender came over to my parents and knelt down. He said, “I have some bad news.” Anna had been found dead that morning in her cabin. We never found out the cause of death, but it was probably a heart attack or something like that. This was of course upsetting to my parents and they wanted to do something as a tribute to Anna. They asked the piano player to play a song. They requested that he play “Time To Say Goodbye.” Not only did the piano player play the tune and sing the lyrics in English, but he explained to my parents what the song was about and what the lyric meant. They did not realize there was a lyric in the song about being on the ocean in a ship. It became an extra special song for my parents.
So there is the story of the three songs that my mother wanted played at her service. I had requests from people to explain on the blog what the songs were and why mom wanted them included. Thank you for those requests. This was a perfect opportunity for me to reflect on the service and especially after discovering that the Il Divo version of the Italian song was indeed in English (for the most part), I looked back at the service and where it would have gone and realized that it would have been an absolutely perfect follow-up to my eulogy.