Here is the eulogy I gave at mom’s funeral
Over the last 9 months my mother and I have talked quite a lot about various things. The ways in which her life has been blessed would frequently come up while we talked. The opening hymn this morning was “Count Your Blessings”. Mom requested this specifically for her funeral. She loved this hymn because it reminded her to look at the many ways she had been blessed.
My mother was blessed with parents who, with little means, were somehow able to make her feel special when all the other kids were showing off their new dresses or toys. Her daddy look through junk yards to find beat up old bikes, skates or whatever it was the other kids just had to have and fix them up to look like they were brand new. Mom knew those things were not brand new, but they looked like it and even better they were made to look that way by her daddy.
My mother was blessed with sisters who were older and looked after her. My mother was blessed with a marriage that lasted 52 years and 4 children of whom she was very proud. She was blessed with grand children that she could love and spoil. I doubt a day went by where she didn’t think about her grand children. My mother was blessed with a long life that was full of wonderful memories. She and dad were able to travel and see things she could never imagine. Yes my mother was very much blessed and as she neared the end of her life she did look back and count her blessings. She saw what an amazing life she had lived.
Not satisfied though, my mother wanted a little more time. When my father was diagnosed with cancer, they took a month long cruise before he began treatment. That was a very special cruise. Not only was it their last, but they were able to spend a great deal of time talking about the future and planning out how it could work out. They had a 5 year plan and set out to make that plan a reality. That plan was scrapped in early January when mom found out she too had cancer and that it was far worse than dad’s. They had to make a new plan but before they could do that my father passed away. Mom set out on her own journey with her own plan and she was determined to see it through. I gained a great deal of respect for the strength, courage, tenacity and stubbornness has shown over the last 9 months. Her new plan, her goal was to make it to Christmas. Christmas was her favorite holiday and she needed just one more with her family. Well Christmas is still months away. My mother was disappointed that she didn’t make her goal, but she realized that she gained so much in the journey that it the end it was okay.
My mother was a family woman. Getting married and having children was just a given for her. She was meant to be a mother. She executed that job brilliantly. She was loving, caring and patient. She taught us by way of the Golden Rule to be kind and treat other the way we would like to be treated. She fought for the things we dearly wanted or needed. She helped us when we needed her help, Guided us when we needed guidance and picked us up when we had fallen. Like her father, she was crafty and creative and could whip up whatever was needed in a moment’s notice.
Mom and dad had many friends. Dad would strike up conversation with complete strangers and mom would win them over. Had it not been for the ease with which my father approached people they didn’t know, those people might never have discovered how truly wonderful my parents were. I am so glad that my parents had the opportunities to meet and befriend so many wonderful people. Many of them were unable to be here today because they are scattered all over the map from their friends in Canada to their friends somewhere out there on the high seas right now. These were lasting bonds forged in the friendly spirit of my father and the warmth of my mother. They will be dearly missed by all the people with whom they have crossed paths.
Mom was very special to me. She was without a doubt the most important person in my life. I enjoyed the very simple things in our relationship the most, like her hugs. She was a good hugger. Not too tight and not too soft. Warm and enveloping. I’m sure going to miss those hugs. I also loved that no matter what it was we made for her, it was always the most precious thing she had ever received and I believed that to be true each time.
There were also our conversations. My mother did not like talking on the phone, but she would talk with me for as long or as often as I needed, which was sometimes daily. We would often play a game at the end of our phone conversations whereby we would try to outdo each other in the ‘I Love You’ department. I usually won with the “I love you to infinite” comment. Then we would say goodbye and wait for the other person to hang up the phone. After a few moments of silence one of us would say “You didn’t hang up.” and that would carry on a few rounds until one of us grew tired of playing the game.
I am so glad that I was able to care for both of my parents in the final stretch of their race. I have been blessed by the opportunity to assist them when they were not feeling well. It was not easy, but it was surely an honor.
So now I must tell my mother, “I love you to infinite. I have to go now. Good bye.”, but I have to hang up the phone first.