This is a continuation of the post I made earlier today…
Today was a busy day, which is good in that it helps keep our minds from focusing on the loss. At least that is how it should have been, but each of the things we did today involved dad in some way. Mom and I went to the gym this morning. We knew that there were going to be many people wanting to talk about dad and had prepared ourselves for the onslaught of condolences. We have to keep reminding ourselves that while we are living this dreadful event, there are many people who dad has touched on the periphery that want to pay their respect. They want (and need) to express their feelings about it. We have to be understanding of that and let them do so. I told mom that she can just let people know you will talk with them after you get a workout in. She agreed that might be an appropriate response.
Mom found working out to be a shock. It was good to get the body moving, but she was disappointed that, in a short period of time, she had lost a lot of the strength she’d built over the past several years. She was lamenting how little weight she could move anymore. We just need to keep going and get her strength back is all. It will be good for her in the long run. After we finished our workouts (which I too found difficult today) we headed down to the lounge to chit-chat with the gym friends. It was good to see so many of them there. It was also refreshing that conversations were not just about dad, but that random topics were being tossed around as well. We discussed hearing aids, traveling in Europe, The Paper (a local small operation news paper) and other whimsical things. Mom commented that she was feeling really good about going to the gym as we headed home. I love it when she is feeling good 🙂
We had to hurry home to meet up with my cousins Craig and Mary. They had driven down from Minnesota (Dontcha know) to visit friends and relatives. Mom was really looking forward to seeing them. Dad was fond of Craig and enjoyed spending time with them, so it was really wonderful that they were able to visit with us. They were already at the house talking with my sister when we got home and they spent the next couple hours talking up a storm. You could tell that mom was in heaven having her nephew and niece here. Haha, I just realized the irony of that last sentence. Anyway, they had a good visit, but it had to end far too soon. Mom and I had to run off to another appointment. We had to go to the cremation services office to sign paperwork and review documentation.
Going over the cremation paperwork was not the most fun thing we’ve had to do lately, but it wasn’t too bad. Fortunately it was mostly focused on the business of signing a billion documents that said we were having dad cremated. It’s funny how many ways you can say the same thing in documents. Each time they asked for initials here or a signature there it was for something we had already signed. There was one document (well actually two because again it was worded slightly differently) that mom didn’t read and instead had me review. That was information specific to how they perform the cremation. Although we were talking about dad, if you distance yourself from the personal aspect of it, it’s quite fascinating. Anyway, we got that out-of-the-way and paid the charges. We got clarification on a couple of questions we had and that was pretty much it. I must say that getting the cremation done was the easiest process in this whole ordeal. Basically, once you choose which company you want to perform the cremation, you just call them up once the person passes. They come out and remove the body with the utmost respect and professionalism. They call the next day to set up an appointment. You go to the appointment and all the documents are filled out and ready to be signed. I was surprised how inexpensive it is, relatively speaking. Ordering copies of the death certificate was a large portion of the cost. If you are fortunate enough to need only a couple then the cost would be significantly less. We ordered 10 copies at $21.00 a piece.
When we got home, the church has dropped by to deliver a superb meal of chicken, rice, salad and fruit. It was very delicious. Regardless of what your personal beliefs are of the Mormon church, there is no denying that they are generous and caring people. They have been very good to us and good for my mother. Besides, they whip up an outstanding meal! We gobbled down that chicken dinner and set out to relax for the remainder of the day. Well that was the plan anyway. I think mom is working on bills and the others are watching television. I worked on some genealogy record on my father’s branch of our family tree before switching gears and writing this blog. I think I am almost finished with this post, at which point I just might have to lay down and count sheep. Tomorrow we have a couple of things to do, so it wont be a completely free day.
Mom appears to continue holding up well. She has tried to keep focus on other things and not dwell on dad much. Although apparently while trying to get my attention a couple of times yesterday, she called me KB (which is what she called dad because his name was Kenneth Byron). She told me that would be a bad habit for her to get into and we needed to break that now. I suppose it is a bit flattering, but also creepy. She did mention that she is really getting frustrated with this memory thing. She has had a couple of moments where she’s gotten herself worked up when she can’t remember where she put something. We have looked for the checkbook a couple of times in that last two days. She gets really upset and I tell her to just calm down, that we will find whatever it is she has misplaced. This afternoon it was her purse that caused her to panic when she couldn’t remember putting it anywhere. That event led to her saying that she is really getting worried about her memory. Hopefully by getting back to a routine and getting her to relax, we can improve that side effect of old age and cancer treatment.
Well I think that sums up the day. We shall see what fun stuff tomorrow brings!