Dad is doing the same. No better, no worse. He has been in the hospital nine days now and there are no answers for what is wrong and why he isn’t getting better. Every day I see him I ask what the doctor said. Everyday the answer is “not much”. I don’t get it. When I took mom to her oncology appointment, I went in with a sheet of paper (two copies actually, one for me and one for the doctor) with a list of twelve questions that I wanted to get answered. It seems like I just keep missing the doctor at the hospital. Yesterday mom and I were gone for all of fifteen minutes and when we got back dad says, “Oh you just missed the doctor.” The other day I asked the nurse to call the doctor to see if we could get a consult with him to find out what he is thinking. The nurse said he would be there later on. In the meantime, mom asked me to go see if the cafeteria had any yogurt. When I got back it was the same story, I had just missed the doctor. Drat!
Anyway, I asked dad yesterday if the doctor had gotten the results of lab work back yet. They had sent some lab work up to UC Davis for someone up there to look at it. He said that he didn’t know, but that he hadn’t heard anything yet. I asked him if he asked why they were sending labs up there, if he knew what they were looking for in the lab work. Nope. I get so frustrated that my parents seem to be the type that just wait for answers from doctors. I suppose that I am just wired differently, but whenever I see a doctor I want to know about why they are doing this or why they are doing that. Heck, I even ask the doctor things like why they got into the healthcare profession. I am curious about what is going on with me.
Do most people avoid asking their doctors questions? Is there some reason for it? Now I realize that many doctors seem to be rushing to get to the next patient and you don’t want to bother them. I also realize that you might think of questions to ask while you are sitting there for hours (okay maybe its not quite hours, but feels like it) in the exam room waiting for the doctor and then forget the questions once the doctor comes in and starts asking you questions. You should ask your doctor questions, especially if they have taken the time to ask you if you have any questions for them. I don’t know, maybe people are afraid of the answers. I am more afraid of not knowing the answers.
Grrr.. this topic just makes me frustrated. I suppose it is time for me to write up a list of questions and leave it with the nurse so she can get me the answers when I miss the doctor next time.
On a different subject. I have been a bit more irritable the past couple days. Maybe I am just on my man-period. I slept damn near twelve hours last night, broken up into a few pieces of course. My shoulder still hurts from the flu shot two days ago. I think I am getting myself prepared for mom’s chemo next week. Seeing as dad will likely still be in the hospital for that, I really hope chemo does not produce six days of zombie mom again. That will be rough.
Well, I will write a proper post later today. This post is sort of making up for not writing one yesterday.
I think alot of doctors are so wrapped up in being a doctor they forget what it is like to for patients. I think everyone should ask their doctors questions. I had a calendar notebook and after awhile my hubby’s doctor just learned to take the calendar from me. I admit, sometimes I forget some of the questions in the abrupt whirlwind of doctor’s appearances. They really do just show up and are gone before you know it. But, when my hubby and dad where in the midst of it, i learned the doctor’s schedules. Mornings are the best and i always tried to beat the doctor and be there waiting for their first rounds and the doctor is still fresh and less rush-y. You certainly can request a consult, i have before. Also, seek the case manager. They often don’t introduce themselves but usually there is one on each floor of the hospital ( They tend to be the one in the hallway on the laptop all the time). She can definitely address all your concerns and needs and delegate between the necessary people.
Thank you for the suggestions! It is helpful to hear how other people handle these situations.